Sunday, October 5th, 2008
(as posted at www.meetmeattheintersection.com, October 5, 2008)
Self-control took on new meaning today. For anyone who’s ever spent a good chunk of their day on the phone with the phone company, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Perhaps I should be grateful they are affording me opportunity to hone my self-control skills. However, it was all I could do not to reach through the phone to find a neck around which I could wrap my clawed fingers. It started nearly a month ago, when I dialed the 800 number:
"Hi, thank you for calling. How may I assist you?"
"Our family is in the process of moving and we’d like to transfer our phone and internet to the new address."
"Okay, no problem." This was the first in a long line of inaccuracies. After rattling off all pertinent info, I heard the tap-tap-tapping of the keys on the other end of the line.
"Ma’am, I’ve taken care of your phone transfer. Now let’s set up your internet." Apparently, the internet transfer was more complicated, as I heard, "Uh-oh" and "Hmmmm…" enough times I started to wonder if my dentist intercepted the call.
With a sigh, she launched into grim news about DSL unavailability, higher prices, different technologies, slower speeds and all other sorts of ominous forebodings. I was stuck in the "Uh-oh" and "Hmmmm" vortex of impossible scenarios. I quickly got off the phone, promising to speak with my husband about our options, make a decision and call back.
That was a mistake. I called back a week later:
"Hi, thank you for calling. How may I assist you?"
"Our family is moving, and I already set up our phone transfer. However, I still need to transfer our internet."
"Okay, what is your phone number?" I slowly listed the 10 digits and waited for the now familiar tap-tap-tapping. What I didn’t expect was:
"I’m sorry, ma’am. We have no record of that number."
"We’ve had this phone number with you for nearly 17 years. Could you please check again?" I restrained my exasperation.
After another few minutes, she again said the number wasn’t coming up in their system. We went back and forth, me adamantly defending our home telephone number while she refused to acknowledge that we had, indeed, been a customer of theirs for nearly two decades.
"Ma’am, are you sure that is your number?"
Face red and head ready to explode like a burrito in the microwave, I nearly shouted, "Check your caller ID–I’m talking on it RIGHT NOW!"
The phone number fiasco resolved (her life temporarily spared), we moved to the issue of internet.
"I’m sorry, Ma’am, but there is no internet in your neighborhood."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, ma’am."
"That’s impossible. Just last week one of your co-workers said we had a couple different options. And we’re in the 21st century, for heaven’s sakes–how is it possible there isn’t internet?"
"I don’t know, Ma’am." She put me on hold, during which time my oldest son left for college and my youngest started driving. Okay, not really, but it was a LONG time. And if she calls me ma’am one more time, I’ll…
"Ma’am, there isn’t internet at that address. What would you like to do?"
We volleyed back and forth for several more minutes, during which it became clear she was utterly and completely confused. Either it was her first day, or she needs to consider a possible change in careers. I asked to speak to a manager or someone else who might be able to determine whether or not internet exists on our planet. She refused to do so, leaving me no other option but to hang up and redial the blessed 800 number, in the hopes I might land with someone able and willing to help.
The unfortunate person who picked up my call (somehow he missed the flames spewing from the receiver) was pleasant, empathetic and completely knowledgeable about both my phone number AND the fact there IS internet in my new neighborhood.
"I have you set up for install the Monday after you move in. However, the technology is different, and so we’ll need to provide you with a new modem. Also, you will need to purchase a new wireless router, since your old one will no longer be compatible."
Of course. The sting of this didn’t phase me, however, as I was still flying high over the miraculous rediscovery of internet in my neighborhood.
Until today, that is. 9 days after the install, 9 days after purchasing a $69.99 wireless router, 9 days after reconfiguring our home network. As I settled into a hiccup-free work day, I received a phone call with this recording:
"Hi. This is your internet service provider. We are calling to notify you that effective November 3rd your current internet service will no longer be available in your neighborhood. Please call our 800 number as soon as possible to discuss your options."
Fat chance! I’m going to Starbucks.
Sometimes, circumstances (and customer service representatives) will conspire against you and every last ounce of your self-control will be put to the test. When that happens (and, yes, I mean WHEN), sometimes the best thing you can do is JUST HANG UP.
"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." Proverbs 17:14
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
It’s crazy what a little fear and uncertainty can do to a so-called major world power. Light up a stick of doubt, and fan the flame with heightened emotions and over-enthusiastic media attention, and it’s likely to explode in an all-out panic, taking everyone down with it.
Whether we’re talking about an ailing economy, troubled relationships or a strained career, insecurity can pull out a stable foundation like a slippery rug under the feet. We’re not called to live in fear, however. Fear is NOT God’s signature–TRUTH is. So here’s a few extra bricks to reinforce your unshakeable wall of truth, the one foundation which will never change regardless of what the headlines bring today. Or even tomorrow.
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm." Psalm 20:7-8
"Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go." Psalm 71:3
""Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll, that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead, or engraved in rock forever! I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth." Job 19:23-24
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life." Revelation 20:6
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:1-3
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
I had no idea I’d grown so attached. It’s just a building after all. An oldish, smallish one at that. A few bedrooms and a couple baths–one sporting a 16-year-old linoleum floor. Who falls in love with linoleum?
Well, I did. Maybe not so much the linoleum, but certainly the kitchen where my boys celebrated 16 years of birthdays and Christmases. I look at the now empty family room and remember staying up late to play games and the Friday movie-and-pizza nights. One glance out the back door and I see the stone patio (constructed lovingly by my husband) on which we held our annual summer spaghetti extravaganza, no silverware–or fingers!–allowed. Noodle and sauce remnants have long since fertilized the grass, but the toddler hand prints of my boys remain etched in one of the cement stones.
Today I said goodbye to our family home. And when I drove away, leaving the hand prints behind, I think I left a piece of my heart as well. Will the new owners care for it like we did? Will their family fill it with as much laughter and love? Do they recognize the volume of "life" God brought us through in the years we lived there? Probably not. But I do. I remember enough for all of us, and my heart isn’t quite ready to let go. This is where my eyes can’t help but fill…Though I love my new house and admire my husbands amazing renovation, it’s still only a house. The walls do not yet contain enough memories to make it a home. And so I feel like a stranger in an unfamiliar building that isn’t mine.
"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents as Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." Hebrews 11:8-10
These words kept coming back to me again and again today. For whatever reason, Troy and I believe God has something going on with this move. Don’t have a clue as to what it’s all about, but know there is a weaving of circumstance which is completely beyond us. So we packed up and said goodbye to all we’ve known with wet eyes glued to the only One who knows where we’re going.
I’m ready to go home. My heart aches and long to feel like I’m in that comfortable place where living feels "right" and "secure". Can you relate? Unfortunately, the "coming home feeling" may or may not come. More moves or change may be on the horizon. Our only guarantee is one final transition…to a home where streets are paved with gold and angels sing "Holy, Holy, Holy!" to the Architect and Builder of it all. It is a home where everything feels "right" and tears are not allowed or even remembered.
Hallelujah. I’m ready to go home.
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
Just in case you’re considering it, a home renovation project is a black hole that sucks you in and threatens to never let you go…I speak from experience. I managed to escape for these few moments to post updated pics. You make a request, I reply. Even from my black hole.
After nearly 6 weeks of living, eating, and breathing this home project, we’re completely exhausted. The kind where you might end up curled in a ball and crying for your mama. Not kidding. The good news is we’re finally 1 week away from moving in. I hope. There is some question as to "how much" of it will be done and ready for inhabitants. Well, enough talk…check it out for yourself:
The Family Room
The Kitchen (Underneath all that plastic and paper sit some cabinets. It really IS a kitchen. I promise.)
The Living Room
The Master Bath Shower (Take your last look at the lovely pink hues…it will be gone by Monday)
Master Bedroom
New windows (without cracks! And note the beautiful casing crafted by my ever-talented husband)
And, finally….
One "nearly" completed bathroom shower.
Still much to do before next Friday, but Troy is a magician. Watch him wave the wand and make it happen (well, most of it…)
In the meantime, thanks for hangin’ in with me as I’ve been drowning. We are nearing the end, and I am anxious to get back to real life and time with you! I have so much news…another upcoming Africa trip, interesting world events, poignant book reads, and current thoughts and perspectives. I can’t wait to fill you in, and then all about your thoughts in return.
Meet you back here in a week (or two…)!
Friday, September 5th, 2008
Today I’m posting a devo I recently wrote for "The Intersection" blog. Offering weekly devos delivered to your inbox, The Intersection tackles the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), highlighting a different one each month in 2008. FAITHFULNESS was the topic of choice in August, and it struck a deeply personal chord with me. I hope my struggle with doubt and faithlessness several years ago encourages those of you who have stumbled into a similar scenario.
"I was lost. Stuck between the idealistic, unmarred faith of my childhood and the painful reality of life’s disappointments. I believed God failed me. Abandoned me. All the prayers of my youth seemed to be ignored or rejected before the throne of heaven. And, so, in the grip of deep heartache, I decided I couldn’t afford to be so deeply attached to a God who could so easily reject his child.
For a year I avoided church and her people. I sat steeped in depression, unable (or at least unwilling) to invest any more energy in hope. I couldn’t afford to risk losing more than I’d already lost. I remember someone quoting Romans 5:5…"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts…" The words tasted bitter, and I rejected them completely. Either this was God’s idea of a cruel joke, or I was His exception to the rule. Either way, hope WAS disappointing.
Life with God can sometimes be dark. But let me tell you…life without hope of Him is darker still. This pit sucked me into its icy grip and refused to let go. Until one night, when I couldn’t take the isolation anymore, I cried out in despair: "I give up! I can live without understanding "why" you let all this happen. But I can’t live one more day without the hope of believing in you!"
Though answers remained elusive, God came near. Actually, He let me know in no uncertain terms He’d been there all along.
"If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:11-13
You see, God IS faithfulness. I guess you could say He invented it. His nature is the very essence of faithfulness, and can’t be otherwise. Think of it this way: trying to make God unfaithful is like trying to keep water from being wet. It’s impossible.
During that time of doubt and darkness, God’s faithfulness remained because it stood independent of me. Though I didn’t realize it then, He offered exactly what I needed most: the security of knowing no circumstance or injustice can change the constancy of His faithfulness to me. This was my lifeline, and it ended up being the very thing that saved me.
Regardless of where you find yourself today, cling to the rescue of God’s faithfulness. When all else fails–including yourself–HE WILL NOT."
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:19-23
(As posted on The Intersection, www.meetmeattheintersection.com, August 24, 2008)
(as posted at www.meetmeattheintersection.com, October 5, 2008)
