Those words spew from my lips at least 2 or 3 times while stomping through my house like a rhino on a rampage.
(Warning: Honest revelation forthcoming)
Sometimes people wear me out. I love people, I thrive in relationship. But occasionally friendship seems more trouble than it’s worth. On this particular day I’d reached my limit of trying to maintain the good graces of a few of people. I’m thankful to have many longstanding, true friendships that are both safe and rewarding. I’m not talking about those. But one or two others? Well let’s just say we were still “in progress.” I was letting these exceptions dictate my mood. And my disappointment was taking itself out on the pots and pans.
Sometimes being in relationship feels like walking a tightrope. We precariously put one foot in front of the other, hoping hoping hoping we don’t slip and say or do something that offends or wounds. It’s never my intention, and I doubt it’s yours. If you’re like me, you might even lose sleep trying to do the right things and avoid the wrong ones. But I’m made up of flesh after all. At times I’m insecure, proud, selfish, and inconsiderate. Even when I’m trying my best not to be so.
And so are you.
You see? A tightrope. Sometimes it feels like you can nail 100 steps, but miss one and you’ll plummet to your death.
About the time I was stomping around my house, I read Mike Hyatt’s blog titled “How To Become Your Spouses Best Friend.” A beautiful post, and wonderful insight for a marriage–or friendship. In fact, I couldn’t get past his first point, and his list of what he wants most in a friend. With each bullet, I affirmed Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s what I want in a friend. But why is it so hard to find?
I should’ve stopped there. But I didn’t. I read his second point. Unfortunately. Okay, I don’t really mean “unfortunately” because his advice is sound, but OUCH:
“Now become that person for your spouse.”
Or, in my foot-stomping case, become that person for a friend.
Wowza. I do believe certain friendships last for only a season. And I do believe certain toxic relationships require letting go for the sake of emotional health. However, his principal is right on. And I needed to hear it.
Want the kind of friend who sees the best in you, extends grace, speaks well of you in your absence, and celebrates your successes?
Stop stomping and muttering, and start being that kind of friend.
What’s your biggest frustration in friendship? Your greatest joy?