Ready to Go Home

Sep 24, 2008

I had no idea I’d grown so attached. It’s just a building after all. An oldish, smallish one at that. A few bedrooms and a couple baths–one sporting a 16-year-old linoleum floor. Who falls in love with linoleum?

Well, I did. Maybe not so much the linoleum, but certainly the kitchen where my boys celebrated 16 years of birthdays and Christmases. I look at the now empty family room and remember staying up late to play games and the Friday movie-and-pizza nights. One glance out the back door and I see the stone patio (constructed lovingly by my husband) on which we held our annual summer spaghetti extravaganza, no silverware–or fingers!–allowed. Noodle and sauce remnants have long since fertilized the grass, but the toddler hand prints of my boys remain etched in one of the cement stones.

DSC_0333

Today I said goodbye to our family home. And when I drove away, leaving the hand prints behind, I think I left a piece of my heart as well. Will the new owners care for it like we did? Will their family fill it with as much laughter and love? Do they recognize the volume of "life" God brought us through in the years we lived there? Probably not. But I do. I remember enough for all of us, and my heart isn’t quite ready to let go. This is where my eyes can’t help but fill…Though I love my new house and admire my husbands amazing renovation, it’s still only a house. The walls do not yet contain enough memories to make it a home. And so I feel like a stranger in an unfamiliar building that isn’t mine.

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents as Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." Hebrews 11:8-10

These words kept coming back to me again and again today. For whatever reason, Troy and I believe God has something going on with this move. Don’t have a clue as to what it’s all about, but know there is a weaving of circumstance which is completely beyond us. So we packed up and said goodbye to all we’ve known with wet eyes glued to the only One who knows where we’re going.

I’m ready to go home. My heart aches and long to feel like I’m in that comfortable place where living feels "right" and "secure". Can you relate? Unfortunately, the "coming home feeling" may or may not come. More moves or change may be on the horizon. Our only guarantee is one final transition…to a home where streets are paved with gold and angels sing "Holy, Holy, Holy!" to the Architect and Builder of it all. It is a home where everything feels "right" and tears are not allowed or even remembered.

Hallelujah. I’m ready to go home.

4 Comments

  1. Darcie Gudger

    Michele I can sorta relate. A few years ago my parents had to sell the house I was born and raised in. They had that tiny thing (800 sq/ft of living space) while they were engaged.

    When my mom’s mom had to live with them, the house was way too small. Not to mention there was nowhere but the living room floor or couch when my sister or I came home!

    Indellible signs of my sister and I will probably forever remain on that property. Even after I got married, a Little People toy or some treasure that was burried decades ago would resurface. the trees bear our scars from when we though we were cool enough to try and carve heirogliphic designs in the trunks.

    Growing up, I hated the house b/c it was so small. A single wide trailer had more space! It’s fair to say I was a little ashamed of the fact we weren’t as wealthy as my friends in terms of money. (Rich people had a second story and a two car garage, ya know).

    But when the time came to sell, Mom and Dad talked to both me and my sister and we decided moving was the best option. Suddenly I was sad.

    Like you mentioned, the memories live in our minds and hearts. No one can take those from us.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  2. Robbie Iobst

    Michele, I felt your nostalgia, joy and pain as I read your words. Good writing. Change is part of life, isn’t it? Doesn’t mean it’s easy. I am excited for the process that will make your new house a home. As you and your family’s laughter fill the house, little by little, it will happen. Abraham never went back. His blessing came in going.

    Reply
  3. Jerolyn

    Oh Michele, I know how you feel. You do leave a piece of your heart when you move, it’s tough but God is faithful. After this last move, something seemed to break free in my heart. It’s hard to describe or even know if it was good or bad. However, I now know more than ever that people are so much more important than things – including houses.
    I’m excited for you and the place God has taken you. One thing I’ve learned about God is that just because we choose to trust Him, doesn’t mean He will tell us what He’s up to. But I’m so grateful for the peace He gives in the midst of obedience.
    Remeber the book I gave you to give back to Krista for me? You may want to read through that. It applies even if you only move across town.
    I wish I were there so we could both cry together as you begin this new journey. God is faithful!!!!!
    love,
    jerolyn

    Reply
  4. Jan Parrish

    Some wonderful memories were made there. You are really saying goodbye to is an end of an era. But a new and wonderful beginning awaits you at this lovely refurbished home. More firsts and more history awaits to unfold.

    Reply

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