beyond me

Oct 23, 2008

Prepare for a rant…but a semi-polite one.

For years I’ve heard the following phrase offered as everything from  personal motto to a salve for heartache and unexpected tragedies:

"Everything happens for a reason."

I cringe in the typing of it. It’s beyond me. Before I unleash my tempered rant, let me preface with this: Most people who utter these words do so out of a heart of both faith and compassion. I get that. The intent, I believe, is to issue encouragement and reinforce the belief that God is in control. HOWEVER, I’m not so sure "Everything happens for a reason" is really true.

For arguments sake, let’s say this phrase is true, that every event, no matter how apparently random, is pregnant with intentional purpose, each an orchestrated event exacted on real people for some unidentifiable reason.

What does this mean for the parents of a child who is stillborn?

Or the father who can’t feed his starving children?

How do the words "everything happens for a reason" help the man whose wife just walked out, or the child who is witnessing horrific genocide, or the family who just watched their home burn to the ground?

My gut response (thanks for asking) is that some events in life are, indeed, orchestrated by God for a divine purpose. However, there ARE times when LIFE JUST HAPPENS. And, when it feels like all hell is breaking loose, I am more buoyed by the truth that NO CIRCUMSTANCE IS BEYOND GOD’S ABILITY TO AFFECT than some random offering of "everything happens for a reason."

Please, if you see my home burning to the ground, keep this in mind.


  1. Jan Parrish

    I agree. And I love the way God takes all the garbage that Satan throws our way and makes beauty for ashes.

  2. Darcie Gudger

    A-freakin’-men! I wanna slap people who say that to me. 🙂 But I refrain.

  3. Nicole aka Gidget

    I never really thought about it, but I think I agree. I feel the same exact way about “God won’t give us more than we can handle.” Because yes, He does (or rather, He allows us to experience more than we can handle) so that we will rely on Him and not ourselves.
    By the way, I’m a friend of Melissa Caddell’s and met you last month at the B&N meeting. See you tonight!

  4. Karen O'Keeffe

    Some of the bad things that happen are simply from making bad choices. Free will really comes into play when you open up this can of worms. I will stop and think before I use that empty phrase again. Thanks for making me think!


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