Face Time: The Key to Deeper Relationships

May 9, 2011

In a culture of text messages, cell phones, Skype and Facebook, true face-to-face time with an actual human is becoming more rare. I wouldn’t say it’s quite obsolete yet, but we’re well on our way. Why carve out two hours to meet a friend for coffee when you can get your questions answered with a text or quick phone call? Why go to the grocery store when you can have them delivered?

Over the last two weeks I’ve been reading Better Together, Robert D. Putnam’s follow up book to his revealing Bowling Alone. Whereas Bowling Alone examined the collapse of American community since the late 1960’s, Better Together takes a more positive approach, unearthing stories of people and organizations who have succeeded in building meaningful connections within their community.

During his research, Putnam discovered one powerful key to deepening connection: Face time.

Although our culture is connected as never before, it seems text messages and Facebook conversations aren’t sustaining our community roots. Each may be a useful tool, but they can’t replace good old fashioned time together.

Something happens when we come together. Just this morning I met a good friend for some face time. We both had a bunch of work to do. From a practical standpoint, I had no business leaving my home and to-do list to meet a friend for a short time. I just returned from a long week of traveling late last night. I leave again Thursday. Physically, emotionally, and mentally I’m exhausted. And I still have a list of things to tackle before I leave my family again.


Face time with a dear friend turned out to be exactly what I needed. Like recharging my cell phone battery, time with her fueled my spirit. For 30 minutes, we talked — face to face — about our weekend, the ways God spoke to us over the past several days, and how much we appreciated the presence of each other. THIRTY MINUTES. Shorter than a massage or pedicure, and I still feel like a new woman.

Want deeper relationships? Need to infuse your soul? Try a little face time with the right friend. Some friends drain, but other inspire. Seek out the inspiring kind and make an appointment for a little face time.

“…Love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22

How much face time do you spend with your important relationships?



  1. Jerolyn

    Great post, Michele. So very true. Nothing takes the place of face time with a friend.

    • Michele

      Speaking of, I need some face time with you. 🙂

  2. Mel @ Trailing After God

    Not enough! 🙂 We need that bonding that comes only from being in person. I’m really missing time with certain friends from our old church. I am getting a weekend away with some girlfriends this weekend and I can’t wait because I know it will refuel my tank! 🙂

    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

    • Michele

      Enjoy your weekend, Mel! Sounds wonderful. Although we don’t live close to each other, I AM glad that we can connect here and over Facebook. A blessing to me!

  3. Bryan Patrick

    Just last night, my wife and I sat out in our car port after putting the kids to bed and the sun just below the horizon. With two cups of decaf and our favorite rockers, we talked about our days and bounced ideas off of one another. It was magical.

    Your post is a great reminder, Michele. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
    – BP

    • Michele

      What a beautiful evening for the two of you! Kudos to you for capturing the opportunity and making the most of it.

  4. Jeff Goins

    Not enough. Face time is so important, but I overlook it often, because I think technology replaces it. It doesn’t. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Michele

      You’re right. Technology doesn’t replace face time. It can initiate connection, but it doesn’t sustain it.


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