Sharp Edges

Sep 5, 2012

I usually allow weeks years for time to blunt emotion before I pen a post about a tough spot.

But today I’m writing in the sharp edges. It will not have the buffer of perspective, nor will it have the softness of time. It will be raw, torn and unfinished. Because it is true.

It started on Mother’s Day 2006, when my husband handed me a wrapped gift.

“Open it,” he urged.

I could see anticipation in his eyes. This was not a Mother’s Day coffee mug.

I ripped the paper from the packaging and almost fell out of my chair. A laptop. No more fighting over the family desktop, no more squeezing out a few sentences in between all the homework and bookkeeping. No more waiting to dream.

“I want you to write,” he said, eyes shining from the inside out. “Anywhere you want. Anytime you want.”

Tears. Rivers of them. For one of the few times in my life, I felt understood. He knew this writing thing mattered to me, made me feel alive. He knew, and wanted to help me fly.

Within months, I met with success, getting my first two submitted articles published in well-known print magazines. An unheard of scenario for a rookie, leading me to believe I’d skip over the excruciating publishing process I’d heard so much about.

Not so much. In the years that followed, I pushed out query after query, only to receive rejection after rejection. I agonized over proposals, only to get a “pass.” I read books, attended conferences, asked questions, made changes. All while trying to be a devoted wife, mother and employee. I’d never worked so hard in my life.

Then last year happened. And this year. And cancer and three littles entered my world at the same time. Life swirled, making me dizzy with the spin of it. And I wondered if I’d need to let the writing die. How would I—could I—do this hard thing? The weight of it all was too much.

Cheered by believing family and friends, I continued, hoping maybe the Father who ordained all things had also called me to them. That maybe the writing was, also, a piece of His plan. To write the story while I stood in the middle of it, in all it’s messy, undoneness, before hindsight cleaned it up and made it presentable.

So I wrote. Agonized over another proposal. Prayed, wrestled, stayed up late at night and woke up early. Squeezing out words from sparse minutes in hopes the effort would prove worth it.

But today I received a blunt critique, a rejection that made the long line of others read like compliments. And although I know it’s part of the process, although I recognize I’m in great company in this club of unwanted misfits…

My heart hurts.

I still see my husband’s bright eyes as I unwrapped that laptop. I still see the young woman who believed she could do this writing thing.

And today I feel like I failed them both.

Tomorrow will be new, and the failure will ease as reality reminds me this, too, is part of the process. But for now I grieve and ache to hear the words, “Well done.”

This is why I write this post. Because I know many of you long to find your way and still feel a bit lost. Many of you dream only to doubt it’ll ever come true. Many of you scrape and spend and wonder if your efforts will ever be worth the terrible cost.

I will not talk you out of your pain or mute your grief.

Instead, today, I’m sitting with you in the middle of it. With all it’s sharp edges and unfinished lines.

It hurts. All the striving and believing and hoping, only to be dashed in the trying. But this I will say:

The fact that you’re bleeding means you’re living.

And for that I say, Well done.

Today, we cry. You and I. Together.

But tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Maybe, you and I, we’ll try again.

What sharp edges do you endure today? We’re with you in it.

89 Comments

  1. Marlee

    Hi Michele,
    I’m so tempted to leave you with a “rah, rah” comment and encourage you where you sit, but my heart tells me you don’t really need that. You already know the truth about this “failure.” Instead, I want to thank you for your courage, your authenticity, and your truthfulness. Rarely do those of us in pursuit of our passions share the lows in between the highs, but they are there, they are inevitable, and we are able to push through them and move past them. Thank you for showing us that.
    Marlee

    Reply
    • Michele

      Marlee, thank you for cheering without “cheering.” Just what I needed. Today earned the right be heard, just as it is, without any polish.

      Reply
  2. Shelly Brown

    To hear someone say, “I will not talk you out of your pain or mute your grief … ” is, for me, in this moment, oddly encouraging. It takes someone who has experienced or is experiencing deep pain to offer such words of grace and understanding. Thank you for your transparency, Michele.

    Reply
  3. Kathy Fullerton

    Michele, I say “Thank God for the internet!” Because of this medium, you are able to be a voice for God regardless of whether or not a traditional publisher has given you a stamp of approval. My suggestion is to frame that rejection letter, hang it in your office and begin typing away on that precious laptop. Share your heart to a willing and appreciative audience. This is God’s will for you, right now!

    I am your sister in Christ and your sister in writing. I know the emotions that you are experiencing. Just keep going down the road and keep using the gift that God has given you. There is no shame in writing amazing blog posts that touch other people and glorify your Creator.

    Reply
    • Michele

      You’re absolutely right. To share words and community right here is enough. I’m glad you’re with all of us in this!

      Reply
  4. Robbie Iobst

    Someone gave me a band-aid with a picture of Jesus on it a while ago as a gag. Still have it. It’s yours now. :0) Love you, friend.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Lol. I’m in the wrong business. 😉

      Reply
  5. Celeste Barnard

    Michele, I am sorry for your hurting heart. And I am also so grateful for you- For your authenticity. I’ve always loved that about you. To be standing amongst the glass in front of us is brave- scrapes and all. And the world could use some authentic bravery. Too many of us wait until the happy ending to share our stories, but what we really want is real stories- the beginning, the middle, and the happy ending. Thank you for sharing your middle with us, and I eagerly await the happy ending (because it’s coming). 🙂

    Reply
    • Michele

      “Too many of us wait until the happy ending to share our stories …” Sometimes the “happy” hides in the story, and not the ending. Beautiful truth, Celeste.

      Reply
  6. Sue Ferguson

    Thanks for sharing this Michele. It is beautifully written. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Ken

    The excellence of this post is exhibit A in a string of evidence that proves… You may grieve, but you will continue to write and you will be published. I don’t say this to encourage you. I say it because it is the truth.

    Reply
    • Michele

      More tears.

      (thank you for believing in me)

      Reply
      • Joy

        I think Ken covered it…..love you friend.

        Reply
  8. diane homm

    Michele, you are such a blessing and inspiration – even in the starkness of pain. I cry as I write this to you, because my sweet husband did the same thing. Last Christmas he bought me a new laptop since my old one had so many miles on it. He is my biggest fan and cheerleader, believing in me when I’m not so sure at times. Thank you for sharing your heart – hurts and all. You are blessing lives, dear sister, in all you do. Keep writing 🙂 ~ Sharing the sharp edges takes the sting away, a little. Much love your way ~ Diane on the plains

    Reply
  9. Mike Harmon

    I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.

    Reply
  10. Deana

    I agree with Ken — Michele, this post is excellent and you will be published. This is the voice in women I love. The real voice. Not the one that has all the answers, but rather the one who sits with all of us open, sometimes raw, and totally brave. I’m learning as a writer that nobody really cares about my answers or my 3 steps to this 5 steps to that. What my readers care about is my heart — when they see my heart they learn that they can trust me with theirs. You have a good heart Michele — Keep it open and keep writing.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Oh, Deana. Thank you for this.

      Reply
  11. Todd Liles

    Michele,

    Critics suck. If they didn’t give you some pointers, ignore them.

    If they were actually giving you some constructive feedback, listen to them.

    Hurt a little, grow a lot.

    You must be doing something right to be in the conversation.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Todd, it was definitely constructive and worth listening to. But it was sharp, direct and difficult to read. No candy coating on this one. I will take it, listen to it, learn from it. But not today. 🙂

      Reply
  12. Mary DeMuth

    Oh I have been there many, many times. And the sad, frustrating thing is that the farther you go in the writing journey, the harder rejection feels. I’m so sorry. But, yes, keep going. It means you’re getting closer.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Yes, exactly. It stings, because somehow I think I should be past it, should know better. I know you understand.

      Reply
  13. Heidi Kreider

    I have no words for the ache of rejection. It hurts so deeply. Thank you for reminding me that bleeding means we are living! And… thank you for being brave enough to share while the edges are still sharp. Meeting us in that very place encourages my heart so very much! Thank you Michelle!

    Reply
  14. Denise

    Rejection hurts. You’re in good company here…I don’t know if that’s comforting or not, but it’s real anyhow.
    Thank you for being real with us, too.

    Reply
  15. Beverly Nault

    What beautiful, transparent, honest feelings, and beautiful, honest, transparent comments. Feeling understood and affirmed can help heal, I hope the edges are smoothed a little by our virtual hugs for one another. I had an unusual experience of “rejection” this week. Invited to a book group that had read my novel, they proceeded to critique it as if I wasn’t there. All the flaws, new author mistakes and tropes I realize now as my talent grows could have been improved upon became their targets. I’d believed I was appearing to talk about the tough road to being published (albeit mine is a tiny press, but I am still published and it took yeeeaars) but they thought I needed their honest, sometimes almost cruel, feedback.

    Bruised and bleeding, I left with my dignity, not having cried in front of them. But I still sting from their comments, except for one reader who is in my target audience and did her best to defend my style and voice.

    So let’s hear it for the one agent/editor/reader whose warm hug as we leave for home can reassure and reaffirm, no matter how small their voice is among the cacophony.

    Reply
  16. Christin @ Joyful Mothering

    Although I haven’t dealt with quite this type of rejection, I have recently felt the pain of it in a different way. It is hard. But I’m learning something: I will not allow someone else to define who I am by their rejection. I will not give them consent to make me feel inferior. I will keep moving and learning and growing. Yes. But I cannot deny who I am, because God has ingrained in me a need to be that person.
    (Disclaimer: I’m not talking about sinful desires either. Just personality). Well written, Michelle. I’m very much enjoying your blog. 🙂

    Reply
  17. Deanna

    Michele,

    Thanks for sharing Michele,

    Early this year, I worked at a job where I spent most of my day writing for a corporate magazine. It was a terrible fit for me (and I knew it) but when they let me go, I still felt like my writing took a huge sucker – punch.

    Rejections almost always send me running to the arms of Jesus.. and in that there is something bittersweet about them. 🙂

    Reply
  18. LauraLS

    My husband gave me a laptop for exactly the same reason, only I haven’t really started diving into things yet. I once heard communication is a gift to people and a ministry. I believe it. If it is out of the right motives and/or divinely inspired, nothing and no one can keep it from reaching who it is meant to reach. I think this was a wonderful article and I think you have inspired me to dust off the laptop……

    Reply
    • Michele

      If that is the case, then you just made this post worth it, Laura. Brush off the fear, and WRITE.

      Reply
  19. Becky Johnson

    Although I will not, cannot, talk you out of the sting of criticsm… I just think you should pull up my last email to you about your latest proposal, perhaps a month ago. Raves. Thrilled. Awed. Backflips of joy. Drooling with envy. Ditto from your literary agent. And WE KNOW GOOD when we see it. So I’m thinking someone illiterate must have had at your proposal:) There’s just no other logical explanation. I’m free today if you need Kleenex or sincere writing Kudos or both:)

    Reply
  20. Kati Smith

    Sweet Michele! You are brave and beautiful and I can’t wait to read your book someday. No actually, I can’t wait to read your bookS some day! Miss you girl. Keep on writing.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Miss you too, dear Kati. Thank you!

      Reply
  21. Natasha

    love the reminder that bleeding means you’re living. I needed that.

    Reply
    • Michele

      I’m glad you’re living, Natasha.

      Reply
  22. Cheryl Wyatt

    Michelle, this is the most beautifully written blog post on rejection that I’ve ever encountered. Most people don’t realize that published authors go through tons of rejection too, even after selling. That horrible feeling of letting an editor down, or feeling the anguish of knowing you did your absolute best…and yet it still wasn’t good enough is a terrible vat to have to swirl in.

    I’m so glad you had courage to post this.

    I agree with Ken. This blog post alone is evidence you’re meant to be published. If your books will touch people like this blog post is…and I suspect they will, then the reason for today’s rejection is not because your writing isn’t good enough….I think the opposite is true. And I don’t say that lightly and in fact have never said that to someone who’s been rejected. I believe this rejection is God’s provision…blinding the editor to the brilliance of your work (I’m serious…don’t laugh) so that you don’t settle for Plan B. God is saving you for something better…an editor and a pub house that will be a better fit and who will see your writing for the wonderful that it is. Until that Call comes, cry and kick cabinets at will. I’d pass virtual tissues if I could. Hugs and again, I applaud you for your transparency and your heart of commiseration to other writers going through it. Your words are a balm and I pray God blesses you Eph 3:20 SOON.

    Cheryl

    Reply
  23. Wendy Brooks

    This degree of transparency is exactly what inspires not only me but so many others. So many people, writers included, operate behind a veil like the “Wizard” in the children’s classic the “Wizard of Oz.” They only want the public to see the finished product, but seeing the whole process is truly what helps the most people. So thank you for sharing even this rejection as part of your journey. Your “realness” is so appreciated.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Wendy, I loved your Wizard of Oz reference. We do that, don’t we? Try so hard to make ourselves grander than what we are? But a real person can do far more than a fake wizard.

      Reply
  24. Jennifer

    Hey Michele,

    Please know that I am so encouraged by your posts, articles, and sessions at Hearts! YOU are a success in every way that matters – your relationship with God, wife, mother, friend, daughter, cancer survivor! Girl, you rock! But still, I KNOW what you mean when to want a dream to come true and someone runs right over it – a few too many times! LOL Hang in there! They say – “whoever they are” LOL – when God closes a door, HE opens a window! I KNOW – my house is all WINDOWS!

    Love and Hugs,
    Jennifer

    Reply
  25. Cheryl T.

    Michelle:

    This brought tears to my eyes!

    Yes, I am bleeding. Yes, I am alive. Yet, I am frustrated beyond words.

    I’ve backed away from writing because of this frustration. But, without hope, I continue to hope that the talent God has placed inside of me WILL BE published.

    As I think about having my work published, my throat tightens and tears sting my eyes. Especially when I consider how much of my heart and soul have been poured into what I have written. A lot rides on it. When you don’t feel like you have anything else to offer this world; when the only mark you can leave is what you have written, hope rides high. As a single mother, I dreamed my writing would open other avenues. I still dream of public speaking. Though, dreams tend to fade with age.

    Yes, I am bleeding.

    But, as long as I have breath, I will continue to write. In spite of my fears, I will continue to face possible rejection. I still have a lot riding on my hope against all hope.

    I give Mary DeMuth Kudo’s for the advice she gave at Mount Hermon. “Don’t let them tell you you can’t write the way you write. Just keep trying, someone will publish you. I’m living proof.” Thanks Mary, and thank you, Michelle, for being so honest.
    <3

    Reply
    • Michele

      Nobody gets to decide when you write or when you quit except for you. This is your dream. Keep living it, Cheryl.

      Reply
  26. Bob Dailey

    Well done!

    One of the blessings of the internet is that you can get your writing out to your audience without the permission of any go-betweens like publishing houses, etc. Continue to build your audience as you are, through your honest and authentic writing. It is clear that you believe passionately in what you are proposing to publishing houses. Publish that content here electronically. Great ideas, great messages, great truths will spread with their own energy…your energy.

    Reply
  27. Sarah Beckman

    In my human rejection I always try to remember one thing. I serve not humans, but God alone. And he is the voice I need only listen to, and his voice is saying to you “I gave you this gift, and I want you to use it to glorify me. Even when it hurts or you are persecuted for it. I only give these gifts to those I know will cherish them and hold them close.” Don’t hide your talents in the ground and make the master angry you didn’t even put them in the bank on deposit!!! You are multiplying what he’s given you and HE is proud. oh and btw, so am I.

    Reply
  28. Kathy Eberly

    Michelle, the words you shared today are those words that I have voiced in my heart a million times. I’ve submitted and waited. I’m afraid of rejection. Most of my life has been filled with it. Your blog is beautiful and you have a gift. Maybe the right people just haven’t received your words yet. With all you’ve been through to be dealt another huge blow seems almost insurmountable right now, but you will make it through and God will make you stronger through each step you take. Cry for a time, we all need to do that. Even Jesus wept. You are weeping the loss of a hope and dream. Then, when you are ready, write again. Praying for and with you!

    Reply
  29. Dan Marlow

    Michele, I remember that day when Troy gave you the laptop. I remember the life and excitement in your eyes. You have a gift. I’ve read a lot of crap in my day… published crap. I’ll take your stuff anytime.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Dan, you were sitting with me when the phone rang and one of those two articles made it to publication. Thank you for all YOU’VE done to get me to this place. I’m so grateful.

      Reply
  30. Kelli Wommack

    Michele,
    Your vulnerability and rawness is needed in this world of faux Facebook statuses. I long for authentic sharing and communicating and you have surely presented it here.
    My proposal is actually in the hands of two publishers and an agent as we speak and everyday I wait for a response. But God used a recent speaker’s conference to teach me and prepare me for whatever lies ahead:
    “Kelli, I change times and seasons. I set up kings and depose them. Do you not think that I can ____? There is nothing that you can do or not do today that will validate you… I VALIDATE YOU.”
    P.S. I want to sign up in advance for your book launch team. 🙂

    Reply
    • Michele

      Kelli, I’m smiling, one of those big, full face ones. Thank you. 🙂 Now, we wait to hear about your book, together. Regardless of what happens, dancing or crying, I’m with you. So proud of you for putting yourself out there.

      Reply
  31. Scurrior

    If you haven’t already read these, do: Steven Pressfield – “Do The Work” & “The War of Art”.(You probably have, but just in case …)
    I’ve written reject letters. Thinking back, it realize I took the time to write a real, explicit critique only if I felt there was unrefined gold present. (I’m not talking about money.)
    Sounds like you didn’t get a form letter. Whoever ripped you took the time to do it, rather than take the easy road. (Once we’ve done this for a while, we can smell the difference. N’cest pas?)
    I’ve never known an editor to write a detailed analysis just to hurt someone. (Not saying there aren’t some.)
    Why did he/she do it?
    Maybe they sense unrefined gold.
    When you’re ready, get up, blow your nose, gather your stuff, and walk back into that fire.
    Let’s see what comes out the other side.

    Reply
    • Michele

      You’re right on. The fact that I received detailed critique is, in itself, a gift. Most times we writers get nothing but a “no,” without any explanation. I will learn from this, it will make me better. (Tomorrow) P.S. Great book recommends. Thanks for the reminder.

      Reply
  32. Marie Osborne

    For a young writer, just starting out, this is so encouraging. I know there will be difficult times and struggles. I know that my life won’t stop and be easy just because I’ve been rejected by a publisher. It helps to know I’m not alone, and that I can continue to pursue life and writing regardless of the pain either or both may cause. Thank you for your inspiration!

    Reply
    • Michele

      I’m glad this encourages you … rather than scares you. 🙂 The failure is part of the success, the tears part of the joy. The key is learning to open your arms wide to all of it. You’re certainly not alone, Marie. Thanks for letting us be with you.

      Reply
  33. Cynthia Herron

    Tremendous!

    Don’t ever give up, Michele. God’s got this. And more.

    ~Blessings

    Reply
  34. Heather Thorpe

    I love your writing…. it is real and powerful. Keep your chin up – please know that I look forward to every post! I love you friend!

    Reply
  35. Heather Day Gilbert

    I have been so GRATEFUL that I’ve found your blog. Every post is well-written and heartfelt, Michelle. You ARE reaching people for Christ.

    I’m still in that place of waiting to hear what publishers say about my proposal. I think we have to give ourselves a little grieving room when they say no, since we’ve put all these hours, dreams, and NONSTOP PRAYERS into our writing.

    And I think that if WE know we’re supposed to use our writing talents for the Lord, and our HUSBANDS know and support this, and people TELL us we are helping/encouraging them, we have to keep it up. Even if it means spending another 6 mos-year writing yet another book.

    Adding you to my list of authors I’m praying for!

    Reply
    • Michele

      Ugh, the miserable waiting. Are you checking your email a thousand times a day like I do? 😉 Regardless of what they say, NO ONE gets to decide your worth, Heather. It’s decided. You’re incredible. Glad we’re in this together.

      Reply
  36. Heather Allen

    Michele,
    I got here by a share on fb…from an friend (more of acquaintance really) from college…back in the day we weren’t super close…but our faith and Love for the Lord has been able to be shared in this social medium of today. I think it is cool that God puts people RIGHT where you need them.
    I read your post today and am jealous that you have such a gift. But not jealous in a bad way…in a way that is “wow. so cool”. I am not a writer. I wish I was. I am not a singer. I used to be, a removed thyroid and a paralyzed vocal chord changed that. I am not an artist, but pretend to be in my dreams. I AM a child of GOD and i AM here to DO HIS WILL. You got this girl. Let it SHINE. You are a bright light. Keep it up. Looking forward to reading more of your encouraging words. Just think, your mission field IS coming to you….from that laptop.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Heather, thank you for “stumbling” over here from Facebook. I’m honored to meet you, hear a bit of your story, and received the gift of YOUR encouragement. Thank you!

      Reply
  37. Tammy Helfrich

    Michael Hyatt said something that I continue to think about. “it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s the meaning you put behind it.” I love this post because although it hurts, you are not allowing it to define you. You are not placing all of your worth on the rejection. You are inspiring.

    Reply
  38. Eileen

    What a beautiful, honest post. I am away on a trip right now…but right before I left town my husband insisted that we go and purchase me a new laptop because my other one no longer held a charge for more than 20 minutes. He wanted me to have a new one because he also knows that writing makes me feel alive. Thank you for your words today.

    Reply
    • Michele

      A gift, your husband. I’m glad he sees this in you, Eileen. Now, write. 🙂

      Reply
  39. Lidia

    Hi Michele,
    I’m here because a friend shared a link to this post on FB, and the title caught my eye.

    Because it is my first time here, I don’t really know anything about you, except what I have just read. But I’m reading your heart with tears in my own heart. There’s probably nothing much I can say that can bring you comfort. I’ve been through similar situations when all I wanted was the quiet company of a caring friend.

    So, I think I’ll be that to you tonight, though we’ve never “met.”

    Shalom,
    Lidia

    Reply
  40. Kristen Evensen

    Michele,
    I thank God for you today. Your heart is beautiful. Thank you for being honest and real and vulnerable when, so often, the world’s message whispers, “Hold it together. Be successful. Hold it all in.” I applaud your spirit for its perserverence and it’s HOPE. I am inspired by YOU today. Be blessed, and keep fighting the good fight.

    Love,
    Kristen

    Reply
    • Michele

      Hmmm, yes. “Hold it together” is the consensus of the committee in my head. 🙂 But enough already. Let’s just LIVE, yes? Thank you, Kristen. Your words are a balm.

      Reply
  41. Alece

    oh my friend… thank you for the vulnerability of your words here. i’m hugging your heart and clinging with yours to that hope that feels so ever elusive. disappointments and dreams unfulfilled and rejections and heart-sinking moments… they are real. and they press in close. and they steal our breath. but tomorrow… tomorrow we try again. together.

    i love you, friend.

    Reply
  42. Kelly Combs

    I feel it too, Michele. And some days I say “I quit!” But then I slowly enter the field again. I think writing must be one of the slowest gratification, painful process job there is. Yet, when you love to write, sometimes it feels worth it…some days…when you see your name in print. Others, perhaps like today, not so much.

    Yet, you are a writer. So mourn this one, mourn it big…and tomorrow start reaching for the dream again. ‘Cause you obviously have people who believe in you. Your hubby, your agent, and your friend MH are just some of them that I know of. They can’t all be wrong. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your heart today. I hope I handled it with care.

    Reply
    • Michele

      If I had a dollar for every “I quit!” 🙂 Whew … definitely not for the faint of heart. I’m glad you still keep pressing on, Kelly.

      Reply
  43. Jim

    Michele, I am deeply sorry that you hurt. You are using your God-given gifts to help others right now-even by writing this post. And that is something amazing. God is using you now in ways you don’t even know.

    Reply
  44. Victoria M. Johnson

    Michele–
    I don’t know how it is that you are getting rejections. You write beautifully, with emotion and genuineness; and your words are compelling to read. You have a way with words that touch people. I hope this painful period passes and that you are rewarded with whatever you consider success. In my eyes you already are a success.
    Victoria–

    Reply
    • Michele

      Thank you, Victoria. Grateful for your encouragement.

      Reply
  45. Brad Burdett

    Michele, Thank you!

    We all go through seasons on joy and discontentment. Days when we are inspired to change the world and days when we hide our gifts under a basket. Then there are the days when we think we are alone in our struggle. Thank you again for helping me to see I’m not alone.

    My Encouragement to you that helps me daily is 1 Corinthians 15:57 “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

    Today is you Victory Day!!!

    Reply
    • Michele

      By the looks of these comments, you and I are definitely not alone. Thanks for the verse, Brad.

      Reply
  46. Jon Stolpe

    Michelle, Thanks for sharing this today.

    Reply
  47. Janell Rardon

    Oh, Michele, how I needed to hear that today, as well. Can I come sit with you today?
    As I tell my children, “rejection is merely a redirection,” but the process can really stink.
    When I first clicked on your blog, not knowing or having read you before, I gasped when I saw
    it. It is so beautifully done. I am now a follower!!!! Know you are in my prayers today.
    Many blessings. Keep writing!

    Reply
  48. Tracee

    Very timely words for me. Been battling through waiting and the thoughts of feeling forgotten. accomplishment feels like a far off dream. I feel like i am in a season of leaning about all of the things i am not good at. it is hard to feel far from myself. My hope is guarded – even when glimpses come into view. just feel like i am running up a 14’er. just tired. exhausted. just trying to believe. i am so grateful for the ways you extend the invitations of wrestling, sit, and just be. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Michele

      You are precious to me. I totally get what you’re feeling, my friend. While you sit and wrestle and grieve, please know this: There have been multiple moments when God used you (not a general “you,” but specifically YOU) to give me strength and wisdom for the moment. I believe in you. 100%.

      Reply
  49. carol

    honest, raw, and real – your post lets us know we are not alone and extends the freedom to share our own sharp edges. Thank you Michelle!

    Reply
  50. Ken Shaddox

    Michelle,
    I don’t have any “magic words” to take away the pain. It is obvious to me by all the feedback that you are impacting many people. Everytime I read your blog I walk away saying “that is really good”. You have a way of connecting with people and influencing others for the better. Setbacks are real and not always easy to get over. I will say a prayer for you in these days. May the Lord give you all that you need for the days ahead. Without being “preachy” I offer you Romans 5:3-4. Blessings.

    Reply
  51. Lincoln Parks

    That stings, it hurts, and its like there is no hope. Tomorrow we will try again. Back to the drawing board I say.

    Reply
  52. Cheri Gregory

    Michele —

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the real you, right now…not the tidied-up, post-pain you.

    I read so many Tweets and FB updates and blog posts by women who go straight from rejection to “but it’s not about me” or “it’s all about God.”

    And I despair that my detours through disappointment, doubt, and just plain “Why don’t they like me?” on the way to “it’s not about me” and “it’s all about God” are proof that I am not really called…that I don’t deserve to write, let alone succeed…that I’m not spiritual enough to be rewarded…that if I were really holy I wouldn’t even use the word “rewarded”…etc, etc, etc.

    You have failed no one.

    Well done.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Definitely not tidied up. 🙂 Your comment, Cheryl, holds such insight. Thank YOU for being willing to be vulnerable right along with me.

      Reply
  53. Dana Matas

    I feel your pain with four littles of my own and trying to find to do this writing thing. However, the fact that you have so many people not only reading your blog but actually commenting, I’d say you are already doing what you love to do–reaching people with your message and His message. Well done indeed. I love your writing style and will be following your posts as well.
    Cheers!
    Dana

    Reply
  54. heather

    you know, one of the reasons i hesitate to write sometimes is because i don’t have the big red bow to tie it all up with. sometimes the raw scratchiness of what i have to share can prick, and make people squirm and wiggle, and swallow hard. but i’m also learning, it’s the stuff that makes up the hard we so desperately want to read. life doesn’t always provide us with big red bows. sometimes we get twine, torn and faded ribbons, or nothing at all. i’ve just begun to believe it again after realizing some of the writing i like most is just as you wrote- in the middle of the struggle. we can all relate to your pain- in some way. so- thank you for sharing. not waiting- for giving us the honor to share in your story as it’s happening. and for being clear, in a firm yet eloquent way, that you didn’t need a pat on the back and more “keep on trying”. loved your post. have been there too. it still stings. thank you for allowing all of us out here to be validated in that too. thanks for writing authentically. openly. honestly. i’ll be back for more.

    Reply
    • Michele

      We work too hard for our red bows. We need to somehow find the courage to let life be exactly as it is. You’re brave, Heather.

      Reply
  55. Change Volunteer

    You know Michele, in the pool of writers, you are the droplet that stands out! Just for not being commercial, for being what you are, for your words reveal your personality, you touch my heart like we know each other so well. About the failure, I am not giving an advice, but they say, you see 10 things about a person, you do 9 good things, but human nature will only see the one bad thing…so in God’s books, you are seen for your intentions and not for your success or failures…. I am just proud of you. Stay as you are.

    Reply
    • Michele

      Thank you, my friend. So grateful for your encouragement.

      Reply
  56. Kathleen McAnear Smith

    Well………as a writer myself….I love your writing. My first two books have been published and believe me, I give thanks; but all I want to do is hide away and write some more….and now I need to get out and promote the writing….not my strength. I will pray that Father God guides you to the writing He has planned from the beginning of time for you to do; and then, Scribes unite! let’s pray! Let’s pray we do His will….not you discouraged, not me hiding.

    Reply
    • Michele

      I’m with you–hiding sounds like a fabulous idea! But that’s not what we’re called to. Obedience costs, but it’s worth it when we press forward and do it anyway.

      Reply
  57. Russ

    Michele,

    I’ll tell you the same thing I tell my 9-year-old when she gets ‘the bad news’.
    “SAYS WHO? What do YOU think about that?”
    I learn a lot from my 9-year-old, especially about resilience.

    I have one more question for you. Why are you wasting your time trying to please people who do not appreciate your work? This is the first time I have been exposed to your writing and particularly this blog. Clearly – CLEARLY – you have a talent AND AN APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE if these comments are any indication. How can you cut out those malevolent middlemen and write/sell DIRECTLY TO US?

    THAT, I believe, is your million-dollar-question! We’re right here waiting for you.

    All the best from Toronto,
    Russ

    Reply
    • Michele

      Russ, you can come over here and give me a pep talk ANYTIME. 🙂 Your 9-year-old sounds like a sharp girl. And your advice to her is sound–just because someone says it, doesn’t mean we need to believe it. We get to choose. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here.

      Reply
  58. Lisa Evola

    Hi Michelle, I hopped on over from Michael Hyatt’s blog today to read your most popular post, and I can see why it has been. I always get my best responses when I am brutally honest. I think that people just want to know that they aren’t alone in their struggles. That being said, I am a newbie writer, writing for humanity from the heart of God, and you are right, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is grueling and unrewarding, and I wonder at the end of the day if it is all worth it. Then God reminds me that the prophets weren’t exactly rewarded for their messages, and that we are in good company. I pray that the value of your writing becomes apparent to the right people and that you will be encouraged as you encourage others. Keep on, keeping on sister!!

    Reply

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  4. The Reason I Write | Michele Cushatt - [...] that significantly changed my at-home responsibilities (READ: almost no writing time). And second, the first publisher I showed my…
  5. The 4 Hidden Rewards of Rejection | Michael Hyatt - [...] circumstances are tomorrow’s killer content. After my painful rejection? I wrote a raw and honest blog post. As of…
  6. The Answer to My Why [& Big News. BIG.] | Michele Cushatt - […] I almost quit dreaming that day. The math didn’t add up. I had a life outside of writing and I…

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