[guestpost]Fear is a repeating theme in my life, as you can probably imagine. In fact, I talked about it just yesterday on my new Facebook Live Show: No Makeup Mondays. I’ll explain more about that later, but you can check it out on my Facebook Page. Anyhoo, when I heard about Kelly Balarie’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, I knew I needed to take a closer look. And I needed to invite her to sit down with us and sharing some of her best fear-fighting words. Please welcome my new friend, Kelly. [/guestpost]
My mind raced 100-miles an hour. All I could think as I laid, dead weight on my bed, was what I should have done differently the past 24 hours. That – and everything bound to go wrong come tomorrow. It’s no wonder I couldn’t fall asleep.
I replayed my actions, my inactions and every infraction, sizing up their likelihood to come back to bite me. Surely, they’d be bigger, badder and larger the next day, more likely to inflict harm. They’d return with a vengeance. I could almost see it all play out: the wars, the pain, my tears, people hurt, things breaking down and my emotions walking the thin wire of “I am not sure I am going to make it.”
I wanted to turn off the TV of my mind and go to sleep, yet, once mesmerized by fear, there’s no shutting it off. It blares, talking in ways you hate.
What do you fear in the middle of the night as you lay your head on your pillow?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed fear leaves me breathlessly scared. I’m filled with constant thoughts about myself and gnawing worry. I’m bound to fail. I must keep myself safe. I can’t allow anyone to get hurt.
Yet, in the midst all these thoughts, I find there is one thought that gets me somewhere. If I am constantly walking the tightrope of fear, anxiously seeking perfection in all I do, I can’t as easily fall into the soft hands of grace.
My mind considers this: If I am willing to fall – let go, unwind, give it to God, untether my mind – might I have the opportunity to be caught up in God’s angst-quenching love?
If I soften my tight muscles, will I finally relax? If I forgo my disaster plan, might I enter God’s glorious one? If I take a risk of faith, could I unintentionally enter God’s great?
I’m inspired, certainly. But, could I? Could I actually do this?
Allow myself to trust the Maker and Creator of the earth? Allow him to handle the people I can’t change? To show me I’m more than enough? To figure out what I can’t? To soothe my talking head?
The more I ponder this idea, the more I am reminded:
Peace waits.
It’s always there and it is always mine to grab. It’s yours too. Jesus left it, like breadcrumbs, so we can find our way. We simply hand over our internal war and receive it.
I suppose, it’s kind of simple.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. {John 14:27}
And, with this thought, and the truth that God’s power to move mountains is far greater than mine – I find myself at rest.
In the here and now, I can believe in grace. I can trust God will catch me. I can rest in the fact God will make things right – in his timing.
I can go to sleep.
[callout]Author and speaker, Kelly Balarie didn’t always fight fear – for a large part of her life, she was controlled by it. Yet, in her book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, with God, Kelly charts a new course. Join Kelly as she leans on the power of God, rests on the shoulder of Christ, and discovers how to glow in the dark places of life. Get all Kelly’s blog posts by email, visit her on her blog, Purposeful Faith. Or, join her 4 Days to Fearless Challenge![/callout]
[reminder]What keeps you from sleep? How can you take one step toward trusting that God will catch you? You must leave a COMMENT to be entered to win a FREE COPY of Kelly’s new book Fear Fighting! [/reminder]
Awesome read thank you
Thank you Klaus!
enjoyed reading your blog, great topic. thanks for sharing.
Thank you Sharon!
Sometimes I’m just simply afraid. I wake up afraid. Old fears sneak in and attack when my guard is down and I’m sleeping or on the verge of waking. My fear at these times is pervasive. I lie in bed frozen and cold, my stomach in knots, my chest constricted, and ice-cold dread slowing the life blood of my body. I’m quietly so afraid! Afraid of myself, of what I may do or not do in the day ahead, afraid of my faults and failures, of my hurt places getting hurt again. I feel so small and vulnerable. My mind doesn’t work well as the fear is over whelming, and I can’t remember prayers. So I recite the Lord’s prayer by rote when I can, and often I remember that the Holy Spirit will pray for me when I cannot, and I beg for this intervention. God is good, and prayer helps. I gather my fear into a harness and we get out of bed, ready to try again to live life as best we can another day.
Yes, Mary, you have a great practice. Prayer is a huge antidote to fear. To know God is good stops the lie: he will abandon you. Keep pressing in to that. It will take you far.
Like Kelly, I grew up wrapped in the tentacles of fear. It started out innocently enough…shyness. But by my twenties I was controlled by it…and diagnosed. I suffered from generalized anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. At that time in my life, I really had nothing to fear other than the sensation of fear itself. Now I do have something to fear! I live with brain tumor cells at the base of my brain stem. After two brain surgeries, it sits there like a ticking time bomb. I admit, there are times I wake at night and allow fear to overtake me (I think the enemy knows when we are at our weakest). But then I think about all the ways God has come through for me, and how NOTHING can separate me from his love. In the world (he told us) we will have tribulation. But he has overcome the world.
OVERCOME. Yes. & Amen. He has overcome. There is no power, no darkness and no evil that can erase that truth that brings peace. Everytime it is solid. I rejoice in this, with you. Jesus, the prince of peace, is firmly with you. He will not leave you and his love has already won the battle on your behalf, Linda.
I can’t believe I’m reading these words today. I kind of thought that I was truly the one stuck in this scary cycle mostly by myself. I really didn’t think anyone who remotely looked like they have it together would ever understand, much less relate to these crazy, tormenting fears. I mostly feel like, because of the traumas I’ve “survived,” I am alone in this unimaginable, unspeakable reality. I’ve been trying to embark on my own ministry. Recently, I finally had the realization of why it was so important to me. I knew that there was no denying the truth of God’s existence, more so, He’s Son, the miraculous wonder of an Almighty God that was so supernatural that I needed to tell EVERYONE. But, I’m finally being honest with myself; I’m seeing my true reasons for wanting to share the Lord with the world. Yes, I know He is real, He is big, and He is more Holy and amazingly loving than anyone could wrap their mind around. But… throughout this past week I came to face the real pain behind my ambition: The only good in me, the only way I can be accepted by God, by others, by myself, is by how well, or if I achieved, some level of ministry to others. I have have this, tip of my tongue, “revelation” that I did not need to try to seek forgiveness for myself, it was just unattainable, and that was okay. I would just have to compensate with helping others to see the very thing I could never see for myself; value, acceptance, love beyond human boundaries. I happened to stumble across this and another piece of awareness. I am dumbfounded to see my voice spoken by another. Surely, no one deserves to feel like this… except me. This is a weight I must bare, but I know that God’s love and power can overcome this terrible way of thinking… in everyone else’s life.
I am going to try to seek a new vision for myself because I have come across this website and the voice of someone who seems to sound like my own heart and the fears that have settled into it and taught me to turn my face away from my own reflection. I pray that something begins to look different for me before I collapse and receive the defeat I’ve always assumed was mine and mine alone.
I’m sure that others will be ministered to through your vision. I’m still reserved to really think there is another way for me. I’m almost used to this brokenness, or at least it feels better to say that, to keep my expectations close to the ground. Is there really something different for me than chaos and pain? Than the physical reminders of emotional damage? A way of believing I could have what I know everyone else should… I guess time will tell.
Crystal,
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Is. 43:19
There is a new thing before you. Step into it. Step in. You don’t have to sit in the old decay. I don’t either. Every day is a chance to sit in one of two places: either the darkness of despair or the joy of light. Make the choice. Go towards truth. Grab it and adopt it as your identity.
I know fear. It is possible to overcome the very worst. I say this, because I’ve lived bad, bad things. I’ve overcome so much, so can you!
CONGRATULATIONS, Crystal! You won the giveaway of Kelly Balarie’s new book “Fear Fighting.” Please shoot me an email with your mailing address (U.S. only) and we’ll get it out to you ASAP. May it renew your courage and peace. ~Michele
When I am up and can’t sleep cause I am worrying about something I read my Bible or pray.thank u for giving us this opportunity to win a book.
I know that nighttime fret. I hope you win!